As part of our public service remit, Film Stories compiles the essential guide to making the perfect cup of tea. You’re welcome. Once upon a time, back in my days at Den Of Geek, I wrote a little guide to making a cup of tea on the site, which generated a bizarrely high amount of ... The Film Stories guide to making a nice cup of tea
As part of our public service remit, Film Stories compiles the essential guide to making the perfect cup of tea. You’re welcome.
Once upon a time, back in my days at Den Of Geek, I wrote a little guide to making a cup of tea on the site, which generated a bizarrely high amount of traffic and sparked the kind of debate usually reserved for contentious Doctor Who episodes.
Over time, quite a lot of mine and Ryan’s writing has been removed from the site (which, given we never owned it, is fair enough, that’s how it works), but if there’s a past glory out there to revisit, I’m there. Independent outlets such as this one need all the traffic we can get.
The fundamental problem, of course, is there’s no such thing as a nice cup of tea. There are two accepted ways you can make such a beverage.
You put the bag in first, let it soak in the hot water, then add the milk.
Or
You put the milk in first, then the bag, then the hot water.
The problem is, accepting the first is the given way to do things, to my tastebuds, it makes not the slightest amount of difference. Tea is a drink derived, as far as I can tell, from dandruff. I respect those of you who like it, but also, like those of you who put ice cubes in a cup of coffee, I do not understand you, and I suggest that works in reverse too.
The correct answer to the ‘how to make a nice cup of tea’ conversation is actually in the opening episode of the TV show Ted Lasso. When asked “how do you take your tea?”, Ted replies, “Well, usually I tell them to take it right back to the counter, because someone has made a horrible mistake.”
The correct answer. The perfect cup of tea is a cup of coffee. Now, I’m going to sit back and watch the hits roll in, and if all goes to plan, take the afternoon off.
Next time: which smelly sauce is the worst to have on nachos in the cinema? Until then, chums…
Suggested product
Issue #60 Magazine Bundle (3x Covers: A Scanner Darkly Magazine + 1991 + Roger Deakins)
£14.99
