In our weekly spot where we chat mental health and wellbeing, a few words from Sarah on questioning your own worth.
‘Does anyone ever read my work? Am I boring people? Maybe I am too miserable. Or perhaps I just ramble too much without a point.’ These are just a few of the things that go through my head upon seeing one of my articles published on this site.
Life has attacked me from many angles and left me with a few constant nagging questions, one of which is whether or not I am worth it. Am I worth the time, the attention, and the effort that goes into putting my words out there?
I know I am not alone in this but, as any of you who have also heard that question echo in your mind will know, it is an isolating feeling. Your automatic response is to tell yourself you are not good enough. But look at the facts around you that are telling you otherwise.
I have been paid for my words, both in published articles and in performed poetry. Why would anybody pay for something that they are not required to?
Other examples are how I am forever comparing my photography skills against that of an accomplished professional, yet I am dismissing the fact I have been hired to photograph a company Christmas party for the second year running. They clearly felt I did a good enough job the first time, and I am being paid for the work.
And then there are my friends. The ones I speak with online, the ones I meet in person, and the ones who feel they can turn to me when they need support. Given that you are not obligated to see anybody you don’t wish to, the fact that they choose to have a connection with me tells me that I am of value to them, even when I don’t see it myself.
In 2008 I was accepted into university and I have a habit of dismissing that achievement by acknowledging that I was an older student, therefore I was most likely a diversity selection. However, they weren’t forced to choose me if they didn’t think I had potential within the institution or the course. I graduated with a BSc, and while I didn’t exactly come top of the class, I at least had enough knowledge and work to walk away with an official degree.
It is sad to know that so many of us feel we have to question our worth, in this world. And that very question itself blinds us to the answer that we are worth it. All of us. Always.
Look at all you have achieved to get to where you are in life. Whether that is your family and friends, your work, your hobbies, relationships, or even your living and financial status. Granted, few of us are ever likely to end up where we always dreamed we would, but it’s also worth considering that things could have gone much worse for us.
That isn’t to dismiss anyone whose life has also hit rock bottom, because the fact is they are also worth it. They’re humans who are worthy of respect and understanding, and are bound to have something about themselves they are –and should be- proud of. Survival itself is a significant achievement.
I don’t believe that anybody in life is worthless. Not really. We all have value to someone, somehow. But most importantly, we need to learn to see our own worth.
A friend once told me she always considers herself worthy simply because she exists.
“I am, because I am.”
Something we all need to take to heart, because we are all worth it.
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