A few words on being tempted to make assumptions should someone go quiet on us, and we’re not entirely sure why.
Hello, and a very warm welcome to the spot on the Film Stories site where we down tool for a few minutes to chat about mental health and wellbeing. To have a natter about things that may be affecting you, or people around you. This is something we do pretty much every week and have done for years. Not everyone we run here will be of use to everyone, but hopefully over the extensive archive of material we’ve put together, there’s something that might be of help.
This week, a few thoughts on what happens when somebody goes a bit quiet on you, or when you’re not getting a reply to stuff. It’s a common theme in this series of articles really, that goes to a line we use often: you never fully know somebody else’s story. That we get for the most part a two dimensional snapshot of what they people we encounter in life are going through. Even people we know really well, there could well be stuff going on in their head that we’re utterly oblivious too.
Modern society though doesn’t seem too keen to give people the benefit of the doubt, not least considering the pace at which we’re all seemingly expected to live our lives. And of course in an ideal world, every phone call would be answered, every deadline would be met, every email would be answered. But it doesn’t work like that, of course. And what’s more, it’s not always possible to get across what’s going on too.
In the last year, I’ve had people disappear on me for reasons of health, of losing their job, of a sudden family emergency, and in one case, of just being a bit crap and inefficient. Said disappearances have been related to things I needed too, and so I’ve had to readjust a little to accommodate. What’s more, I can’t pretend things didn’t get on my nerves a little too.
Yet I try to work on the assumption that the other person might be going through the worst day of their life. In fact, I try to do that even if someone cuts me up on a drive or something like that. I know I’m being a bit naïve, but it’s stopped me more often than not getting riled up and angry.
There’s not a person any of us know who isn’t trying to juggle a multitude of things and a collection of pressures. It’s tempting to fill in the knowledge gaps if someone we know goes quiet on us, and a quick check in does little harm. But maybe the benefit of the doubt, and a little patience, might not be too bad a thing too.
Thanks for reading everyone. This column will return the week after next.
