Trigger warning: our weekly mental health chat is, as the title suggests, talking about the subject of self-harm.
This week’s article discusses self-harm. If this is likely to be triggering, I fully understand if you choose not to read. If you do read, please be careful, and please be kind to yourself.
I would also like to take a moment to say the annoying thing; please reach out to someone you trust, or a medical professional, if you are struggling with self-harm.
—
I began self-harming in my 20s, and it began completely by accident. A lapse in my focus caused a minor injury to myself, and after taking time to tend to the wound I realised that I had temporarily forgotten all my other troubles. It spiralled, then.
It has long since been a rule that I will never discuss the details of how I hurt myself, because I never want to unwittingly give anyone ideas. It is worth noting, however, that many people automatically think of ‘cutting’, and that is a harmful generalisation. In fact, most self-harm situations are portrayed in the media as being an issue for only high-school girls, often on the arms, and often using a sharp object.
There are countless ways a person can hurt themselves. Therefore, it is easy to encounter someone with behaviours, wounds, or scars that don’t fit the stereotype and dismiss the issue. We need to start off by understanding that this situation can befall anybody at any time. It can also happen for various reasons.
If you suspect someone you know is hurting themselves, please try to put aside any judgement or instant need to fix the problem. Instead, it is worth reaching out to them simply as a friend or confidante, to help them relieve some of the burden of keeping this ‘dirty secret’. Talk to them generally about life, and their interests. Let them know you are there for them. And if necessary, do some research.
One major request is that you also learn how to deal with the wounds. Naturally, if an injury is significant or immediately dangerous, please utilise the emergency services. However, in most cases the injuries are inflicted for temporary pain and are generally small. This doesn’t mean they are okay, however, so basic first aid knowledge and access to plasters/bandages, anti-septic sprays or creams, or knowing when to use water and soothing tones is also paramount.
It can be scary, whether as the person harming themselves or as the person looking from the outside, and there are is no One Size Fits All solution. The best thing you can do is be calm and informed.
You also should know that you can overcome it. According to the tracker on my phone, it is now four years, four months, one week, and six days since I last hurt myself. My wounds are healed, and I have a beautiful tattoo over most of the scars.
There are still days when some scars are visible, or when my mind tells me they itch or hurt when they don’t. I have flashbacks to meeting some of my favourite people when my wounds were fresh and visible. There are days when I think about hurting myself again.
Suggested product
Film Stories issue 53 gift bundle: Magazine + Nic Cage scratch poster + Nic Cage coasters!
£30.00
But I haven’t, and I continue to fight the urge. And more importantly, I know I have a support network around me if it does become problematic again.
Regardless of the how, the who, or the why, self-harm is a real issue that can affect anyone at any time. It doesn’t make anybody less than, and you can come through the other side.
In the meantime; please take care, and keep your own first aid kit close by.
—
Further reading: the NHS page on self-harm.
Take care, thanks for reading, and this column will return next week.
