In this weekās mental health spot, a few words on when someone famous dies, and how people react to the news.
One week ago, singer Liam Payne passed away, leaving millions of heartbroken fans and one young son. I have tried multiple times to put into words what I have felt, thought, and witnessed online since then. But that hasn’t been easy.
Let me specify, here and now, that I am not a fan or Liam, or of One Direction, and this is not a piece where I will wax lyrical about the impact this will have on the music industry at large. But I do find myself feeling sad about this news beyond the fact that a young man’s life has come to a tragically unexpected end.
One reason for the way I am feeling is because of the way I have been shamed, in the past, for mourning celebrities who died. And because I feel shame that I have also been disrespectful about others who have passed.
Back when Michael Jackson died, I confess; I made the jokes and rolled my eyes at those who cried at the news. That was in the summer of 2009, when I had never really experienced the loss of a celebrity who I was interested in. As much as I hate to admit it, I joined in with the ‘why cry or care about someone who didn’t know you exist?’ commentators. The sadness of people who only knew the celebrity of Michael Jackson somewhat annoyed me.
In December of that same year, I was served a large slice of Humble Pie when Jimmy ‘The Rev’ Sullivan, drummer of Avenged Sevenfold, passed away. I was sat on the floor of my living room reading the headline repeatedly, in disbelief. My heart sank, and I cried. Actual real tears. He was so young and so talented. I couldn’t understand how that was suddenly just gone.
Why was I so sad about this person who I had never met?
Since then, I have twice more shed tears for the passing of a celebrity. When Matthew Perry passed away in 2023, I was surprised to find myself crying. His iconic portrayal of Chandler Bing in Friends had been a source of entertainment, comfort, and pleasure for decades, and he had overcome such a lot. It felt wrong to have that snatched away.
And most significantly, for me, in 2017 was the passing of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington. His openness around his traumas, mental health, and battles against suicidal thoughts was awe-inspiring. I found solace in knowing I wasn’t alone in how I felt, and hoped I could also continue to fight. I still cite the band as a reason I’m still alive. So losing Chester to suicide felt like a betrayal. To this day I still struggle to listen to some of their music.
And that is how I learned.
People don’t just mourn a celebrity because of their talent or status. It goes deeper than that. People mourn celebrities for how they made us feel, for what they represented; hope, inspiration, understanding, or even a sense of camaraderie. I lost celebrities who gave me hope that life might just work out, and then that hope was stolen. It’s rather obvious, then, that I should be so upset.
If I could take back every snarky comment I ever made previously, I would. Who am I to judge who mourns who, or why? Who is anyone to judge?
Liam Payne may not have been on my radar, for the most part. But he brought joy and hope to many, and it’s sad they’re now having to say goodbye to that. And for that, I send my condolences.
After all, he was a person, too.