In our weekly spot where we chat about mental health and wellbeing, an article that’s quite tricky to describe. Hope you don’t mind.
It’s quite hard sometimes, isn’t it? I wish I could give this particular piece an exact title that explained what it is I’m trying to talk about, but this particular piece is just about, well, stuff. Day to day stuff. Getting through a day with some kind of smile in place somewhere, in spite of the feeling that you’re just not doing things very well.
Stuff that you can’t really explain. Why are you struggling with that job on your to-do list, and why is something that seems so small feeling so overwhelming? Why are you getting annoyed with people when they’re on your side? Why are you not doing what you suggest others do? Why are you in a bit of a rut, and why – when you’re usually good at getting out of ruts – are you suddenly a bit scared of this one? Why is this one kicking your backside, when people expect you to be able to easily do what you do?
The list is ongoing. Are you making a metaphorical mountain out of something that can be sorted in ten minutes? Can you get over the crippling feeling of letting people down? How good is your game face today, and will it cover up the insecurities that are making a damn good fist of getting through your defences? Is your weight creeping up again, and why is it creeping up? Is it because your body is failing you, or are you failing your body?
Also, silly brain. Why did that person who worked with you before not want to work with you again? Are you getting worse at what you do? Are the people who say you’re talking shit right? That decision you made last week: was it the right one? How long can you keep doing what you’re doing to the level that you’re doing it? Why did that organisation ghost you? Why did that person do that thing?
All of these questions don’t comfortably fit an individual article really. Some apply to me, some don’t. But I’d bet that a large proportion of people reading this piece have had an hour or two where our brains have gone through questions like that non-stop.
All I can tell you is that you’re not alone there. And also, brains can be absolute bastards.
Thanks, as always, for reading. This column will return next week.
