A few thoughts on the weeks of festive build-up, and the pressure that seems to go with them, in our latest mental health chat.
Okay, here goes; Christmas Day is in exactly four weeks, and New Year’s Day is in exactly five weeks.
Regardless of how you feel about Christmas, or whether you celebrate or not, it is undoubtedly a stressful time of year. You’re inundated with adverts for pretty much everything, the music is all cutesy and upbeat about Santa Claus and love, and everyone is talking about family and festive treats.
You could be Buddy the Elf, or you could be Scrooge before his ghostly visitors – there is no denying the chaos of Christmas.
However, Christmas brings a selection of insecurities along with the jingling bells.
People on lower income feel the pinch as gifts are expected and general groceries cost more due to the snowmen on the packaging, and that is accompanied by a feeling of being ‘less than’ adequate as a person. The foods are richer and provided in quantities that King Henry VIII would approve of, but that’s challenging for people navigating particular health conditions. The expectation of happiness while surrounded by every friend, relative, and acquaintance you’ve ever met is hard enough for anyone with even basic anxiety concerns, let alone people who perhaps don’t have such relationships with their supposed nearest and dearest. Alcohol is not just for drinking, as many foods will need to be avoided for many people in recovery from addiction.
And even though the shops only close for one whole day, we are lead to believe that we need to do a full kitchen stock-up to survive that day, regardless of the turkeys, chocolates, cakes, and more we’ve already specifically purchased. [Insert face-palm here.]
If that isn’t bad enough, we then have a week of belated Christmas celebrations, an abundance of sales for more items we don’t need and holidays we can barely afford, and additional extravagance in preparation for The New Year. We again focus on things we don’t need to as we convince ourselves that the turning of the page on a calendar will fix everything.
With promises of weight loss and Dry January, gym memberships that will be paid long after our induction and single workout, and the assumption that tight clothing means we have acted appallingly more than we have enjoyed the season, we dive headfirst into disappointment and self-criticism.
Christmas and New Year is a grand total of four days (including the Eve’s and Day’s). Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it really worth it?
You can immerse yourself in as much or as little of the festivities as you want, without hurting yourself. It is the ‘season for giving’… so give to yourself. Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy only the elements that appeal to you. Give yourself the right to say ‘no’ to anything that you don’t want to engage with, no reason necessary. Give yourself the Christmas and New Year you want, you deserve, and you can cope with.
This year, I will be spending Christmas and New Year with the cat like any other day but with a few added seasonal foods (especially mince pies), some Christmassy movies (Die Hard, obviously), a microwave meal, and congratulating myself on surviving yet another difficult year. I’ll also be lingering on social media and in the comments section of Film Stories, if anyone wants to say ‘hi’. Because the only thing that really matters to me, this time of year, is my own survival.
I give you permission to do it your own way, because you matter more than any twinkling lights, reindeer, glass of champagne, or centuries old slogans.
