With the I Know What You Did Last Summer remake in cinemas, a tongue-in-cheek look at how much effort slasher killers put into their outfits – with a trophy for first place.
There’s an episode of Peppa Pig where all the parents completely forget to make a Halloween costume for their offspring, and so numerous little cartoon animals show up to a spook-themed party dressed almost identically. With a few winds of toilet roll, you have the ultimate low-effort outfit: an instant Egyptian mummy.
It’s a sad fact that many of horror cinema’s most prolific slasher killers are similarly slapdash in their clothing choices. They may have their victims fleeing in terror, but their sartorial efforts often begin and end with shoving on a mask.
There are other fictional murderers, however, that actually put some time and effort into their costumes; some are even downright flamboyant.
So with clothing in mind, here’s our ranking of slasher cinema’s best-dressed killers…
10. The Fisherman – I Know What You Did Last Summer
Effort: 2/5 | Style: 2/5
In slasher movie terms, this is the equivalent of Peppa Pig’s bog roll mummy outfit. Vengeful murderer The Fisherman essentially goes on the rampage in his work gear – matching black raincoat, gloves and boots. Even the hook he waves about is the kind of tool used by dockworkers and the like. Must try harder.
9. The Miner – My Bloody Valentine
Effort: 2/5 | Style: 2/5
Another chancer who thinks he can just show up for a day’s murdering in his work gear. Next.
8. Ghostface – Scream
Effort: 2/5 | Style: 2/5
Here’s another example of a lazy murderer (or murderers, given there’s been so many in the franchise to date). The knife-wielding antagonist in Wes Craven’s series wears a tatty black gown and a cheap mask readily obtainable from fancy dress shops and the like – a move swiped from Michael Myers (see later). Ghostface does get extra credit for using a voice-disguising device, though.
7. Jason Voorhees – Friday The 13th
Effort: 2/5 | Style: 3/5
Hulking predator Jason Voorhees gets marked down for sheer indecision – it took him years (and three films) to finally decide what mask he wanted to wear. The hockey mask is a distinctive look, admittedly, but it has to be said that he still gets roundly upstaged by his mother in the style department. That angora sweater is truly iconic.
6. Patrick Bateman – American Psycho
Effort: 3/5 | Style: 3/5
American Psycho isn’t really a slasher movie, admittedly, but we felt pressured to add Patrick Bateman to this list to avoid upsetting the narcissistic git. If anything, Bateman puts too much effort into his appearance – his obsessive daily regimen of training, skincare and all-round pampering puts him wildly at odds with the more scruffy, blue collar types on this list. And while his Armani suits are expensive, they’re not exactly what you’d call imaginative. Then again, there have been all sorts of recent articles which suggest that gen-Z is quietly obsessed with Bateman, so maybe a handsome face and a sharp suit is the best slasher killer get-up, after all.
5. Michael Myers – Halloween
Effort: 3/5 | Style: 3/5
In the 1978 original, Michael Myers fled from an asylum, so it’s understandable that he had to cobble an outfit together in a bit of a hurry. He doesn’t score highly for style with that purloined blue jumpsuit, but he gets extra marks for effort thanks to his facial covering. Sure, it’s just a William Shatner mask from a joke shop, but he at least took the time to give it an eerily effective lick of white paint.
4. Leatherface – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Effort: 4/5 | Style: 3/5
Like The Fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer, Leatherface takes the lazy option and wears his work gear – he used to work at an abattoir, so he sometimes likes to don his old, gore-smeared apron while he’s going about his murderous business. The shirt and tie add a touch of class, though, and Leatherface shows some solid needlework skills on his mask. It certainly shows more effort and initiative than nicking a mask from a joke shop. Michael.
3. Freddy Krueger – A Nightmare On Elm Street
Effort: 4/5 | Style: 3/5
With his fedora hat and garish red and green sweater (seemingly swiped from The Last House On The Left), Springwood, Ohio resident Fred Krueger is low on style but high on technical ingenuity. When it comes to weaponry, most killers just grab what they can find in their kitchen or garage (or their toolbox, in the case of The Toolbox Murders). Krueger’s finger-blade glove, on the other hand (sorry), is both a weapon and part of his outfit. It also helped Freddy get over his lifelong habit of picking his nose.
2. Heart Eyes – Heart Eyes
Effort: 4/5 | Style: 4/5
The newest entry on this list suggests that a new generation of slasher killers will have infinitely more style than the last. A murderer who specialises in murdering couples, Heart Eyes’ outfit comprises fairly standard-issue black clothing (all the better for lurking in shadows) and a particularly nifty mask which includes novelty glowing eyes in the shape of heart symbols. Our only question is how the killer can see while the red eyes are switched on – surely they must get dazzled by the bright LEDs shining millimetres from their face? The murder must spend night after night with a terrible migraine – which, thinking about it, might be why the turned to a life of crime in the first place.
1. The Owl – Stage Fright
Effort: 5/5 | Style: 5/5
There can be only one. And for both style and effort, the winner of Film Stories’ best-dressed killer trophy has to go to The Owl in Stage Fright – Italian filmmaker Michele Soavi’s wonderfully unhinged slasher from 1987. Using a variety of weapons, the killer terrorises a group of hapless actors rehearsing in a theatre one night. This mysterious villain (whose identity we won’t disclose here) doesn’t wear a stolen mask, but rather a larger-than-life barn owl head, complete with beak, feathers and beady eyes. Admittedly, it’s far from a practical choice of outfit; the peripheral vision must be terrible, and if we were wearing it, we’d live in mortal terror of someone flicking a lit cigarette in our direction. But style never was about practicality, and appropriately for an Italian killer, The Owl has lots of it.
We only had ten spots on this list (in a Top Of The Pops style), so let us know if you have any well-dressed slasher killers you’d include.
