A few words in our regular mental health spot about trying to break a cycle of negativity. Sometimes, it’s worth just finding something positive to say.
Hello, and a very warm welcome to the spot on the Film Stories site where we chat about mental health, wellbeing, stuff that’s going on in our brains, that sort of thing. This is a weekly bit of the site, that’s been running for a fair few years now. No miracle cures are offered, but hopefully, over the course of this series of articles, there’s something of use to you.
This week, a few words on softening words a little bit. Those moments where we know we’re going to say something a little difficult, but also, want to take into account the feelings of those we’re talking to.
At heart, there’s no way to soften bad news. The more we bluster through it, the more the person on the other side of the conversation tends to know what’s coming. Or just as badly, doesn’t. With bad news, or awkward chats, I do think it’s best to get to the point quickly.
But it doesn’t have to be nasty. It doesn’t have to be in isolation.
Clearly, very bad news it’s hard to nullify. Yet if you’re going to criticise someone, it’s really worth trying to counterbalance it with something positive. It’s an often-ridiculed approach, but I do think it scales. If I’m telling my kids to tidy their room, I will make sure that there’s something nice once I’ve told them what a tip they’ve made their dwelling. Not something artificial either. Something genuinely true. Not all of it goes in, but it’s a bit more rounded at least. If someone is telling me how rubbish I am at work, tell me something I’m good at to go alongside it.
All a bit of an imperfect science this, but I do think it’s worth a go. I try really hard now not to say three negative things in a row, for instance, and try and put in something more upbeat. Doesn’t always work, but has done in the past, and who knows? You might have a different approach, but just the commitment to yourself to add something positive.
May be something, may be nothing this. Still, anything to break the cycle of negativity I’m pretty much all for these days. Thanks for reading everyone, and this column will return next week.
