Mental health: accepting some people just aren’t very nice

Coffee image for Film Stories' regular mental health column
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In the regular place on the site where we chat about mental health and wellbeing, a few words about people who just aren’t on your side.

Hello and a very warm welcome to the spot on the Film Stories site where we stop for a minute to chat about mental health, about wellbeing, about the things that may be affecting you or the people around you. This is a weekly series of articles we do, and we’re fully aware that not everything we write will be of use to everyone. But hopefully, one of these pieces will be of use to you.

This one’s a bit tough. But hopefully you understand why. I’ll start with a movie, though.

One of the reasons I love the film Sing Street is it bothers to scratch the surface a little on a character who’d otherwise be a fairly two dimensional bully. That we get a glimpse into the home life of said character, and see what made him a bully in the first place.

I think of this scene a lot. It’s a little close to home as it reminds me of when I found out the background of the person who made my life hell at school. It’s something I try to think of whenever someone is being shitty to me. I try really hard with that.

But still, there comes a point and it’s taken me a long, long, long time to fully accept this. I don’t like that I have, but in the end I concluded this: for whatever reason, some people aren’t nice. They may have extremely good reasons for not being nice, but there does come a point where you have to bring in self-care. You have to protect yourself. You can’t win every battle. And you need to move on.

I fundamentally believe that human beings are, on the whole, good and flawed. I cling to that.

But like you, I’ve met people who are just horrible to me. Who have left me shaken, hating myself, and just beaten up. And eventually, again, you have to move on. Eventually, you have to take yourself out of the firing line. Everyone has a tipping point, and one advantage of getting older is it’s usually a little easier to spot.

I do believe that bullies are created are bullies. There’s a reason why people are who they are. I also believe people are imperfect and have bad days.

But I growingly believe that if you don’t have self-care, you can’t help others in the long run. It becomes of growing importance, that. And if people around you are damaging you, and try as you might you can’t do anything positive about it, it might just be time to draw a line.

The very best to you. Take care all. This column takes a rare week off next week. It’ll return on 19th April.

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