‘Bed rotting’ may be seen as self-care, but it’s turning into a harmful trend. Sarah takes on our mental health column to explain more. During the past couple of years, a trend has appeared that seemingly encourages self-care. It is called Bed Rotting. The idea is you spend a day or two in bed, resting ... Mental Health & Wellbeing Matters | Bed rotting
‘Bed rotting’ may be seen as self-care, but it’s turning into a harmful trend. Sarah takes on our mental health column to explain more.
During the past couple of years, a trend has appeared that seemingly encourages self-care.
It is called Bed Rotting.
The idea is you spend a day or two in bed, resting and taking time for yourself. Searching it on social media brings very soothing, calm, aesthetic looking posts involving chocolates, hot drinks, books, streaming services, and the cosiest of fresh bedding.
However, this is a harmful trend.
You know how people can be dismissive with ‘we are all a little autistic’ to explain away quirks, or declare they are ‘a little OCD’ when they just like things tidy and organised? Well, Bed Rotting falls into this category. It negates the reality and severity of what people deal with, daily.
When people encourage Bed Rotting and show you all the perfectly positioned comforts they use, what they are really showing you is a Duvet Day. A Duvet Day is exactly that – calm and comfort. I highly encourage the occasional Duvet Day, especially if you are not someone who has time to rest very often.
Bed Rotting, however, is an acute symptom of mental health, and is the furthest thing from relaxing and cute as you can get. I know because I have struggled with Bed Rotting since my late teens. It is hard to live with and highly embarrassing to admit, but I am not the only person to experience this, and it is something people need to understand.
My first breakdown was at age 18, and that resulted in me taking to my bed. Chronic insomnia ensured that sleep didn’t occur, but my bed was still my safe space. Until eventually it became my only space. The place from which I couldn’t escape, with mental health so low that I didn’t care if I lived or died, had no energy or motivation to ever do anything to even care for myself. ‘What was the point?’ I would ask myself.
Someone who is Bed Rotting is doing exactly that; rotting away in their bed. I could go for long periods without dressing, washing, brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, changing the bedding, or anything else. I merely existed; greasy, dirty, exhausted, smelly, eating in the bed and not caring about crumbs. It reached a point where the only reasons I would leave my bed was to get food and drinks, or use the bathroom… and even then, if I could have found ways to exist without them, I would have.
Bed Rotting is not self-care.
Bed Rotting is passive suicide. It is living at the bare minimum of what you are capable of, because actual life and death take too much out of you.
I’m now 42 and still struggle, though I am doing better, these days. Sometimes. I attend art groups, workshops, appointments, visit family, access occasional events. Every time I attend, I am clean, well dressed and well groomed, wearing a nice perfume that regularly gets compliments – nobody would ever know any different. They don’t know the effort it takes for me to get out of bed at any given time.
By all means, spend a day in bed from time to time. Have a Duvet Day. In fact, little hack; a large travel mug or flask with a hot drink means needing to get out of bed less often to remake drinks.
But please, please, no not encourage the concept of Bed Rotting. And if you or someone you know struggles with this please be patient, be compassionate, and have some support information available if possible.
