A new trailer for the Nosferatu director’s medieval wolf horror prompts us to wonder what’s next on Robert Eggers’ plate… Hyde ur wee ones! Robert Eggers may not have been allowed to make Werwulf in Old English but, according to the latest trailer, everyone’s sure as hell doing the accent. It’s classic Eggers stuff, from ... Werwulf trailer | What will Robert Eggers misspell next?
A new trailer for the Nosferatu director’s medieval wolf horror prompts us to wonder what’s next on Robert Eggers’ plate…
Hyde ur wee ones! Robert Eggers may not have been allowed to make Werwulf in Old English but, according to the latest trailer, everyone’s sure as hell doing the accent. It’s classic Eggers stuff, from olde worlde dialogue to a colour palette you’ve no chance of seeing on a sunny day.
All of which had us wondering: after tackling witches, vampires and werewolves, what classic monster movie could Eggers take on next? We’ve got some suggestions:
Robert Eggers’ Lee Cronin’s The Mummy
The parents of a kidnapped girl find her entombed in a 3000-year-old sarcophagus, bringing the world of the Old Kingdom into the closest Eggers gets to the modern day (18th century Cairo). Unusually for a film set in Egypt, the sun doesn’t appear once, and Jack Reynor contracts hypothermia during filming.
Macberth
After taking on the legend that inspired Hamlet in The Northman, Eggers takes on The Scottish Play the only way he knows how: in authentic Scots Gaelic. American audiences complain he’s made Shakespeare even more unintelligible.
Ye Invisible Mon
A heavily bandaged Geordie concocts a potion to turn himself invisible. After his research into Victorian science proved a little too fruitful, Eggers successfully turned the entire film transparent and has been unable to find it. No one believes him, accusing David Zaslav of deleting it for another tax write-off.
Frankensteinberg
Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein with the lights turned off. Jacob Elordi trained with opera singers to deepen his voice, allowing him to access the Brown Note near-constantly throughout. Cinemas close en-masse over public health concerns.
Bride Of Nosferatu
A new extended cut of the 2024 shocker sees Lily-Rose Depp survive, marry Count Orlock and engage in scenes of domestic farce bringing to mind certain episodes of Keeping Up Appearances. Most of the added footage involves them bonking.
Fantum of the Opera
Nothing could be more horrifying than a real Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
Vvitchfinder General
Eggers’ two-footed dive into franchise filmmaking sees Anya Taylor-Joy return to track down the loneliest old women in the village. Critics note with surprise that it’s basically a faithful remake of Charlie’s Angels (2000).
Jackal and Hide
Eggers’ adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic confuses audiences, who note the title character’s names were already spelt weird in the first place.
Werwulf arrives in UK cinemas New Year’s Day 2027.
